Amy Winehouse All Set To Go JCVD On Someone?s Ass

Looks like Amy Winehouse’s vacation in St. Lucia is going even better than anyone ever expected.  As seen in various gossip tidbits over the past week or two, her sex life’s going great guns, as she hooks up with attention-seeking small-time actor Joshua Bowman (Who?  See, I told you.), and now it looks like this woman’s training for some UFC tourney, or maybe even an invasion of Gaza or something.  Just like Jean Claude Van Damme, Amy is showing herself to be a flaccid little thing who can do full splits with ease.  Well, as anyone who’s been following Amy Winehouse’s scandal sheets knows (Yep, it’s offically a career), Amy’s very nice at spreading her legs, so the moves she’sbeing shown here by her martial arts sensei aren’t new to her.  Hell, even the upside-down position of her leg splits is probably something she’s done before in some raunchy frenzy with her estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil.

And speaking of Blake, I’m sure he’s the one who’s going to get a taste of Amy’s newfound martial arts skillz.  He’s started divorce proceedings now after all these reports of her sexcapades on the marvelous beaches of St. Lucia.  I bet she thought she was giving him some verbal karate chops with statements to the press like “When I’m with Josh I don’t need drugs to feel worthy because this guy makes me feel so excellent.  We just had sex… can’t you tell?”  Now this babe’s the one reeling from his legal assault, although I bet the line “Blake was rubbish in bed,” really hurt.  Oh well, now that Amy’s one with the Matrix, she can use all her downloaded kung fu knowledge to turn him into ground beef.  Then this chick can challenge Manny Pacquiao for the title of best pound-for-pound fighter after that.

Well, we can only wish Amy Winehouse luck in her bid to get back in shape, so hopefully the next time she shows her ta tas, which you can see on this site, this woman won’t scare our nuts into hiding.  Check out that site for other hawt celebrity content if Amy Winehouse’s bra buddies aren’t your thing, and that’s completely understandable.