Would You Call Elisha Cuthbert Sloppy Seconds?

Just look at this widdle honey with her pinkish teddy bear, standing out on the sidewalk.  She looks like some cuddly estrogen-powered version of John Cusack in “Say Anything”, only instead of holding up a boombox with 2 hands, she’s uh… holding up a teddy bear with one hand.  Duh.  Well, you can’t beat a classic like “Say Anything” anyway, so why try?  And speaking of saying everything, Elisha’s ex, Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars, just insulted her on TV recently, telling reporters “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s approximately. Have a fun the game tonight.”  Oh, snap!  That’s what you get for dating one ice hockey barbarian after another, babe.  Why not try a chick like that, even after your relationship ended?  Okay, maybe you would.  That’s why you can’t get to first base correct now.

The NHL didn’t think Elisha was sloppy seconds at all, so they laid the administrative smackdown on Avery and put him on suspension for for “inappropriate public comments“.  I didn’t know NHL was short for Gentleman’s League of Figure-Skaters With Sticks.  Since when did they get all prim n’ proper?  Well, maybe they saw this scorching sexy picture of Elisha Cuthbert in a bikini at the beach and they figured they’d get their turn with her when she moves on to her next hockey goon.  They certainly wouldn’t want their date to be called sloppy seconds then, right?  So might as well nip that talk in the bud while they whack off to thoughts of Elisha in all her bikinied glory, like I do every other hour.

If you saw the steamy and raunchy pictures of Elisha Cuthbert that are on this internet site, you’d be fantasizing about her daily too!  Check it out and see…